Blessed Beyond Belief: Two Years Ago

Two years.......Two years since I last saw your smile or heard your voice. Two years since I kissed your cheek or felt your hugs. Two years since you saw the kids or knew what was happening in their life or have seen how much they have grown. Two years seems so long ago but for me it seems like today. I remember laying on your hospital bed and holding your hand. I remember being there when you took your last breath. The pain and sadness is still very real today. I miss you so much and wish I could call you up and tell you about our day. I wish I could tag you in a picture of the kids on Facebook so you could see their silliness, their beautiful smiles or their accomplishments. I wish you could see how much they have all grown and coming into their own opinionated personalities. I wish you could see them in braces and how much their smiles have changed. I wish you could see them play football, baseball or soccer. I wish you could hear Marlee speak. You never got the chance to hear her sweet precious little voice. I wish you could see CJ and Marlee grow up. They are best friends and play so sweetly together.

I wish you could see how much our lives have changed in two years. Life is different for me. My perspective has changed a lot. I keep to myself and probably over think things on all levels. I feel as though I have become a more quiet person. More calm and peaceful. More of an introvert. That's how you were. You were calm and quiet.....even though I look more like moms side of the family, I think I'm a lot like you in the quiet and peaceful aspect. You weren't one to freak out about things.....I am just like you. Allison is a lot like you too. You would be proud of her. She is such a good wife and good mom to CJ. She too keeps to herself and is calming to be around. I know you would be proud of Steven. I noticed at Thanksgiving that he has your hands. Made me smile and teary eyed at the same time. He has grown a lot over the last year and I know there are things he would wish he could say to you. Things that would make a lot of sense to you now. He's such a great dad to Gracie and Madison and you would be proud of his leading. One day.

#YouShouldBeHere #Memories